Whether you’re new to the alternating weeks arrangement or have been living it for years, we’ve gathered all the information you’ve always wanted to know about shared custody schedules. There's a lot to consider when choosing a schedule that works for your child and fits with parents' work schedules and other family members.
The line between shared custody and visitation with a parent the child does not live with is not always clear. Besides the time the child spends with each parent, other factors such as joint custody, shared financial responsibilities, and whether the child has belongings at both homes also matter. Legal precedents show that a child living about 30% of the time with one parent is not considered to have shared custody. The schedule examples below, considering time distribution and other circumstances, can be seen as shared custody.
When you think of alternating weeks, this schedule often comes to mind: the child spends seven days with one parent, then seven days with the other. Common exchange days are Monday, Friday, or Sunday.
This schedule has only one transition per week, minimizing the number of separations. The child has time to settle in with each parent during the week, providing stability and predictability. Planning for child care, etc., needs to happen only once per week. If the exchange occurs on Sunday, Monday, or Friday, the schedule often fits well with holidays and extended weekends.
For some children, seven days is too long to be away from a parent. This can be mitigated with a mid-week dinner or regular activity with the other parent. The child can also FaceTime the other parent and listen to pre-recorded bedtime stories when not staying with them.
This schedule may be less suitable for younger children who need frequent physical contact with both parents. Alternatives that still involve shared custody could be the 2-2-3, 3-4-4-3, or 2-2-5-5 schedules.
With a 2-2-3 schedule, the child alternates two days at a time with each parent from Monday to Thursday, then spends every other weekend, Friday to Sunday, with each parent (2+2 days, Mon – Thurs & Fri – Sun every other weekend).
The child maintains close and regular contact with both parents during the week and spends significant time with each parent on weekends. This schedule often works well for younger children for whom a 7/7 split is too long away from one parent.
Frequent exchanges can pose challenges like difficult separations, coordination of child care, and transporting belongings. Some parents and children may find this schedule chaotic and hard to manage. Consider Schedule 4: 2-2-5-5 for a more balanced approach.
Similar to Schedule 2 (2-2-3), this schedule offers regular contact during the week and extended time with each parent every other weekend.
Starting early in the week, the child stays with each parent through Monday and Tuesday after the weekend, reducing transitions and creating more stability. Additionally, the child has fixed days with each parent every week, which is convenient for planning activities. The key difference is the alternating weekends for the child.
This schedule involves fixed days with each parent every week, except for one day that alternates between parents. Starting on Monday, the child spends weekends with one parent and weekdays with the other. Starting on Wednesday, the child shares the weekend with both parents from Friday to Sunday.
This schedule offers predictability and makes it easier to coordinate the child's activities, with each parent managing different aspects during their days. It suits parents who work on weekends and need the child to be with the other parent during those times.
Occasionally, spending time with both parents on weekends allows for shared leisure and relaxation. Balancing weekdays and weekends ensures neither parent becomes the "fun weekend parent" or the "boring weekday parent." The most important factor is what works best for each family.
The following options involve less than 50-50 time with both parents. As mentioned, schedules with less time at one parent's home can still be considered shared custody based on individual circumstances.
This schedule resembles the 7+7 arrangement, with weekly shifts but one day less with one parent. Starting on Monday, the child stays with one parent until the following Tuesday, then with the other parent from Tuesday to Sunday.
Advantages and disadvantages are similar to the 7+7 schedule. This setup is often part of a gradual increase toward full shared custody.
The child stays with one parent from Monday to the following Wednesday, then with the other parent from Wednesday to Monday (if the schedule starts on a Monday).
This schedule suits children who want to live with both parents but need more time with one or have other reasons for spending more time with one parent. This might apply to children with special needs requiring rest and support from one parent.
Similar to the 6+8 schedule, the 5+9 arrangement can be part of a gradual increase towards full shared custody or a stand-alone agreement.
Elisabeth Scholander Family Law Attorney and Mediator, Specialized in Conflict Resolution for Families
22 August 2024
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