Changes at home can affect a child's ability to concentrate and learn. When the focus should be on the multiplication table, a previous conversation between the parents may be distracting the child's attention instead. This can lead to increased stress and a sense of failure in the child. As a parent, you can help your child achieve their goals in school and contribute to improving their security and self-confidence.
The thoughts of divorce and the other changes that the family is going through can make it difficult for the child to focus on school work. Staying busy can be a way to protect oneself from negative feelings and thoughts.
However, thoughts about the divorce can also suddenly come up during a math lesson and to avoid them one might be tempted to disturb a friend or the whole class. Anxiety can thus lead to restlessness which makes it difficult to sit still. Not managing school makes life even harder, so instead of scolding, the child needs more adult support and care.
Parents and other important adults can help children with missed homework or anything else at home. It is important to have extra patience as an adult and be prepared for the fact that homework might take extra time now. A good way to move forward is to set small goals for schoolwork and take small breaks after different tasks. Children need to succeed and feel satisfied with their efforts (avoid criticism).
Supporting with the logistics around homework, tests, and school supplies can also help the child.
The school nurse or counselor can provide support if the child wants to talk to someone. Increased contact between parents and teachers can also help.
It is important to strive for a good cooperation between parents when it comes to the child. It is comforting for the child to know that both parents are looking out for them and can collaborate, even if they are no longer a couple.
Malin Bergström Child Psychologist, Associate Professor & Author
7 May 2024
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