Is your co-parent not responding to your invitation to the VarannanVecka app? Or have they said no to trying the app? Don’t worry, there are ways to move forward. Here’s what you can do when things don’t go as planned!
First and foremost, the app is based on voluntariness. You can’t force anyone to use it, neither through nagging nor legally. Everything is based on voluntariness.
If the co-parent hasn’t responded, ask if they received the invitation. Sometimes emails end up in the spam folder or get lost. It’s good to know so you can send a new invitation.
If the co-parent has responded but doesn’t want to use the app, ask why! Maybe you have an SMS thread where everything about the kids is mixed together, which you’re not happy with but the co-parent wants to keep? Consider what the co-parent says. If you can have a good, factual dialogue, you can weigh the pros and cons of different options together.
While waiting for the co-parent, you can start using the app yourself. Everytime you add information and choose to share it with your co-parent they get a notify that there is information waiting for them in the app. Especially shared images of your child in the app often spark an interest to log on and use the app.
Also, almost all functions in the app can also be used independently or with other important adults in the child’s life, like grandparents, stepfamily, and others while you wait for you co-parent to come around.
If there’s a lot of friction in communication and cooperation, it’s often about encouragement in various ways to start up an okay communication.
The invitation to the Varannan Vecka app is one such way. Another way could be to suggest a conversation with us at Varannan Vecka to get help with starting up an okay cooperation. We will then contact the co-parent and invite them!
Get help from other important adults. Consider whether the refusal to join is because the invitation comes from you! Is there another person whom the co-parent trusts who can talk to them and bring up the issue? If it feels safer, you can also invite outsiders to the app who can see what you write to each other so no one feels forced or exposed.
Ask for the co-parent’s own suggestions on ways to communicate and cooperate! If they come back with suggestions, it’s important to listen and consider what the co-parent proposes. It might not be your first choice, but it could be a good way to get the communication started. Once you’ve started and everything is running smoothly, you can then consider other ways to communicate that you prefer.
Elisabeth Scholander Family law attorney and mediator, specialized in conflict resolution for families
9 June 2024
"The turning point came when we found the Every Other Week app. There's less fuss and both of us have a better handle on things. It feels so great!”
"Thank you so much for this app, it has finally gotten us to communicate!”
