Does your child favor you or your co-parent? Don’t worry, it’s common and doesn’t have to be a big deal. However, it can be challenging for both children and parents during phases when they cling more to mom or dad.
Many children go through phases where they have a favorite parent. This preference can be challenging, especially in shared custody arrangements, as a child's natural inclinations don’t always align with our expectations. For the parent who feels left out, it can be tough to face rejection. For the "favorite," it can be exhausting, often requiring extra support. It’s easy to think that favoritism is due to one parent spoiling the child or being too strict, but it often isn’t about how a child is treated. Favoritism can be part of the development of attachment relationships. Keep this in mind when it feels disheartening to be rejected, or when a little one constantly wants to be close to you!
Tips! If your child is particularly attached to one parent, it might help to adjust the living schedule so the child spends a bit more time with that parent. For instance, you could add an extra night with the favored parent during the other parent's time.
Remember, some children might be particularly attached to one parent throughout their upbringing, while others go through phases of neutrality or shifting favoritism. Parents need to be attentive and patient during these times.
Malin Bergström Child Psychologist, Associate Professor & Author
5 August 2024
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