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Parents   »   Advise to minimize conflict between parents

Advise to minimize conflict between parents

To minimize conflict, it often takes different kinds of action to break the pattern. So consider your own behavior, both when you’re alone and about to interact with the other parent, and when things heat up and you feel anger in the moment.

Child psychologist Malin Bergström provides concrete tips for better contact between parents!

Keep your part of all agreements

Pick up/drop off your child when you’ve agreed. Make sure to be on time. If you’re running late or something unexpected happens, notify the other parent as soon as possible so they can plan to help out or simply show understanding that plans had to change at the moment.

Use “I statements”….in all communication

If your relationship with your parents feels strained and you need to talk, use ‘I’ statements: “I get stressed when you are not on time because it makes me late too” instead of “Think about how you never can be on time. I always have to wait for you!”

Only take responsibility for your part of the parenting

You decide how you want to be as a parent and the coparent does the same. That implies that you both take responsibility for what you do in your own parenting without the other parent being able to or having to interfere if the child is doing well and feeling good with both parents.

Meet half-way if possible

If a coparent asks for help with something, try to accommodate if it’s possible. Children love to see their parents help each other out if it can be done without any friction. It shows the child that you practice what you preach if you both say that you will be there to take care of the child. That way, you will also avoid any power struggles emerging around the child or between you in different situations.

Final note

Children need a safe and stable environment with loving adults around them. By minimizing conflict and doing what you can to lower your part in the quarrels, you have acted to do what is best for your child!

Elisabeth Scholander