“If the Co-parent Doesn’t Want to Use the App”
If the co-parent hasn’t responded to your invitation to the App or refuses to try it out, don’t despair. There are ways to move forward. Here’s what you can do when things don’t go as hoped.
The App Relies on Voluntary Participation
First and foremost, the app relies on voluntary participation. You cannot force anyone to use it, neither through persuasion nor legally. It’s all about voluntary participation.
Find Out Why and Consider Solutions
If the co-parent hasn’t responded, ask if they received the invitation. Sometimes emails end up in spam folders or get lost. It’s good to know in case you need to send a new invitation.
If the co-parent has responded but doesn’t want to use the app, ask why! Perhaps you have a text thread where everything about the children is mixed up that you’re not happy with but the co-parent wants to keep? Consider what the co-parent says. Can you have a good, factual dialogue where you both weigh the pros and cons of different options?
Start Using the App Yourself
While waiting for the co-parent, you can start using the app yourself for a while and explore! Practically all features in the app can be used solo or together with other important adults in the child’s life, such as grandparents, step-family, and others.
After a while, you can try to tell the co-parent a bit about the app, how you think it works, etc. Perhaps the invitation will be better received now when the co-parent hears that you wanted to share school information directly in the school thread in the chat instead of cumbersome emails that easily get lost!
Try Different Approaches and Alternatives
If communication and cooperation are strained, it often involves trying different approaches to start up an okay communication.
An invitation to the App is one such way. Another way could be to suggest a conversation with us at Every Other Week to get help with starting up an okay cooperation. Then we’ll contact the co-parent and extend the invitation!
Seek support from other important adults around the child! Consider whether the refusal to connect is because the invitation comes from you! Is there another person the co-parent trusts who can talk to them and bring up the issue? If it feels safer, you can also invite outsiders to the app who can see what you’re writing to each other so no one feels forced or exposed.
Ask for the co-parent’s own suggestions for ways to communicate and cooperate! If they come up with suggestions, it’s important to listen and consider what the co-parent proposes. It may not be your first choice, but it can be a good way to start communication. Once everything is up and running smoothly, you can then consider other communication methods that you prefer.
Summary
- Check if the co-parent received the invitation. If not, invite again!
- If the co-parent doesn’t want to use the app, find out why!
- Start using the app yourself and send a new invitation to the co-parent a bit later.
- Is there a third party both trust who can talk to the co-parent and suggest the Every Other Week app?
- What alternatives does the co-parent have for better communication and cooperation? Try to meet halfway to break the deadlock and move forward!
