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Separation is a crisis we go through

Going through a separation can be difficult and depends on who you are as a person and the circumstances of the break-up. For many, a divorce brings about feelings of sadness, worry, and anger. It’s natural and inevitable. It’s a crisis you have to go through.

A summary of this article below.

It is a life change

No matter how you respond to a divorce, it’s unique to you. Your personality and the strategies you have to cope with different hardships will play a role. Of course, it also depends on whether the separation comes as an unwelcome shock or something you were able to prepare for and even welcome. But it’s inevitable that it will be a crisis. It would be sad if we didn’t react to such a big life change, like the things we’ve lost didn’t matter at all. And it’s the same with children. It hurts to see your kids sad, but it would be worse if they didn’t feel anything or didn’t show it.

The signs of crisis

Maybe you’re only thinking about what you’re going through right now, night and day. Maybe you feel like you’ve lost both your identity and everything you lived for. A crisis is a disruptive event or situation that threatens our basic needs and that we can’t handle with our usual attitudes and strategies. We feel helpless and out of control, as if the very foundation of our existence has been shaken. The stability both within us and around us is crumbling and our fundamental values are affected – our daily life and sense of safety and security, the predictability of life, and our trust in ourselves and others. But don’t lose hope! Try to focus on the good things in life, even if it’s just a small thing. With time and effort, you will get through this and come out stronger.

When our partner leaves us

When we are being left behind by our partners, our crisis reactions can be more acute than if we chose to end the relationship ourselves. We are forced into a change we didn’t choose and can have difficulty seeing beyond losses and feelings of anger and failure.

Examples of crisis reactions

  • Feeling hopeless
  • Panic attacks
  • Restlessness
  • Emotional detachment
  • Sleep disturbencens
  • Anger and irritability
  • Withdrawing from social activities
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Having trouble remembering things
  • Confusion


  • How one responds to a divorce is personal, but for the majority it is a life crisis.
  • For the one who is left, the crisis reaction may be more acute than for the one who chooses to leave.
  • The expressions of this crisis may include feelings of hopelessness, panic, anger, difficulty remembering, sadness, and confusion.
Malin Bergström
Child psychologist